Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Throne

You are idle and calm, sleeping in the expensive king size bed of your loneliness, surrounded by people who are your friends, your lovers, your soulmates, your family, all those that live in the palace of your life. Some of them, small in number, are your life followers. You define them as trustful courtiers. They love you deeply and their road goes in parallel with yours. They observe silently your life, they accept your choices with respect, they are always there for you, to teach you, to advice you. These are your true friends and family that you want to feel close when you walk on the red carpet of your life's passage.

And there is "the one". The one that you selected to be your king, your partner, your love, your lover, your best friend, your breath, your everything. The one to whom you dared to show all the bright and dark rooms of your palace; your true self, your soul's secrets, your deep desires and wishes, your dreams and dark fears. The one that you trusted your heart's sound, your body's desires, your mind's buried concerns. The one that you gave access to your most precious place; your time's throne.

And you are so innocent and ignorant, or just so true to all others but to yourself, that you forgot that this throne is yours, only. Tired of standing up alone you forgot your title, you became someone else. ...You suddenly feel there is not enough oxygen in the air. You throw away your luxurious crown, you deny your tiresome swampy role. You feel the intense need to seek a quite and warm place down in the basement to spool yourself, to become a hamble servant to your needs, to you; to find love and peace in the small things that you ignored for so long. You hide for some time searching for your heart.

Two slim figures apporach gently and introduce to you; you face clearly your dreams and desires. They are so beautiful and young, so simple and genuine wearing their uniforms and white clean aprons. They smile at you conspiratorially and invite you secretly to show you the way towards a locked door on the loft that guides you to all you ever wished for. You look at them playfully and you smile back. They close their eye and disappear in the dark. You follow them in the wet corridors of your soul's castle. You hear creepy screams on the way; dead games of your mind. There is no fear running in your blood. Nothing can distract you from your thirst to follow those little witty shadows. A few more steps. You push the heavy door and you are finally there. Out. On the roof.

Oxygen. Your knees bend. You take a deep breath. Relieved and peaceful you lie down, you look at the stars, you touch your heart and you suddenly feel free and more rich than ever, having nothing but your true self by your side. You close your eyes for a while to feel the liberating power of the wind on your face. When you open your eyes you feel a touch. You see around. You find yourself sitting on your throne. Someone keeps your hands softly. He lies down next to you. He huggs your knees. He has transferred the throne at the roof for you so that you can be with your little friends, your dreams and wishes. He respects them. He needs them with you. You can feel all that he has to say in his eyes.  You know. He is the one. You put another throne close to yours. One black and one white.


[*Sometimes there is a moment that you see clearly whether "the one" is going to be there for you forever; close to you, your angel, your heart; to support you, to be proud of you, to need you, to love you, to miss you, to share with you, to desire you. A romantic way of life, yes, but who says life is not romantic? This moment you just know it's him or just a number, one more story. Then you write about it, to remember or to forget...sitting on your throne].  



What happened that dark night you went to that basement? 

...Maybe it was just the sad rhythm of a red waltz that you danced alone; that lonely spinning walk around yourself that made you realize that a real king who deserves to be "the one" gives place to his queen first, and always needs her by his side. 

That night you received and you gave a slap. The most painful was the one you gave to yourself. To wake up. You suddently did wake up. It was just a nightmare.




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